Every Act of Self-Care Is a Declaration: I Am On My Own Side

Summary: 

Trauma survivors often emerge from their turmoil having managed to survive without the faintest idea of what self-care looks or feels like. And that's okay. Coping mechanisms have served a purpose in your journey in order for you to merely survive. Which means that self-protection will always top self-care. 

Self care ultimately is an act of showing up for yourself. Despite trauma forcing us to self-protect over self-care, this blog post will share with you simple tools and solutions to get you closer to promoting self-care in your daily life. 

If you find it difficult to ENJOY life, know that that’s normal following adversity. But we also know it doesn’t have to stay that way forever. You have the right to implement self-care strategies which will foster moments to thrive. We believe that self-care is a combination of the nurturing routines, conversations and relationships we have with OURSELVES. It's the capacity to love, accept, connect and care for ourselves, from the inside out, in spite of the traumas and stresses in our lives. It's about leaning into our lives, moment to moment, with trust and appreciation. 

So how do you know if you’re ready to incorporate these self-care routines into your life?

Here are 5 signs that you are ready to incorporate true self-care:  

1. Setting healthy boundaries
2. Receiving and accepting support from others
3. Regulating and processing emotions in a healthy way
4. Connecting with your somatic nervous system.
5. Genuinely having compassionate curiosity for your specific healing journey.

Are you ready for self-care? 

Thereʼs an unimaginable life you hold inside, so letʼs venture inward on the path to moving you forward! While figuring out if you are at the place in your healing journey to add self-care routines remember, “when you doubt your power, you give power to your doubt.” Here’s how you’ll know you are ready to implement self care.

1. You’re setting healthy boundaries.

Have you begun creating healthy boundaries in order to put your wants, needs and time first? For survivors, learning boundaries is a critical part of healing. You have to learn how to set limits, how to honor your own feelings and how to make choices that are in line with your own beliefs or wants. Setting boundaries requires self-knowledge. You need to know what you like and dislike, what you are comfortable with, what scares you, and how you want to be treated in certain situations. Self-knowledge requires moments of solitude so you can come to know yourself better. All of these show you towards your next step in healing; self care. 

2. You are receiving and accepting support from others.

If you believe others are capable of being reliable, compassionate and trustworthy, this is a sign of healing.  Due to trauma being an invasion of your boundaries, survivors often have a difficult time trusting others to receive support in their lives. Learning to lean on safe people for support is another important step before integrating self-care into your daily life. 

3. You are regulating and processing emotions in a healthy way.

Numbing, denying, distracting or avoiding emotions are all symptoms of healing but if these are no longer how you cope then GOOD FOR YOU. You are practicing healthy coping skills. You are learning how to regulate your emotions in a healthy way.

4. You are reconnecting with your somatic nervous system.

You are actively listening and reconnecting to your body in order to reconnect after periods of dissociation and disconnection due to intense triggers. Your desire to have a flexible and fluid nervous system is important here. This means that you can easily come down to fight, flight, freeze when needed, without getting stuck. It is important to have small moments of safety within the body which help regulate and anchor you back to the top. If your nervous system has been reshaping and regulating with time and intention this is a sign of where you are at. Additionally, having regulating resources that you rely on is another indication that self-care practices are something you are ready for.

5. You are genuinely having compassionate curiosity for your specific healing journey:

You have replaced internal shame or confusion with compassionate curiosity. Know that healing isn’t about being perfect. Healing is about being compassionately present with the pain. Holding yourself with no judgment but with a desire to discover yourself and your specific journey shows that self-care would be a healthy practice for you. 

If this sounds like you and you’re ready for the next step, let’s first talk about what self-care is and is NOT. 

What Self-Care Isn’t:

Self-care is more than bubble baths and journaling and loving affirmations. Sometimes self-care looks like getting out a good cry, sitting in the discomfort of those emotions we’ve been escaping, having that difficult conversation we’ve been avoiding, or putting down that bottle.

Self-care is easily marketed, exploited, glamorized and filtered these days. But if your self-care looks different, know that however you care for yourself from the inside out is ok. And if you’ve been putting off self-care because you’ve been too busy just trying to survive and catch your breath, that’s ok too.

What Self-Care IS:

We believe that self-care is a combination of the nurturing routines, conversations and relationships we have with OURSELVES. It's the capacity to love, accept, connect and care for ourselves, from the inside out, in spite of the traumas and stresses in our lives. It's about leaning into our lives, moment to moment, with trust and appreciation. 

That’s why we’ve created a guide with the tried and true practices our founder and CEO, Britt, has used in her own journey of battling mental illness, substance abuse and eating disorder stemming from trauma. It holds our golden nuggets, go-to exercises, tools, insights and inspiration from our own learnings. It can help

Here's what to expect in our FREE Self-Care Workbook:

• Establishing a morning routine through breath work and affirmation practices
• Journal Prompts for setting your intentions, being honest and learning to love yourself
• Self-discovery prompts to meet your self-care fix
• Self-loving acts…which help when you need to re-center
• Specific foods, recipes and meal prepping advice…because self care is also what you are nurturing yourself with
• A specific guide to a nightly routine in order to stay grounded and reflect on your daily journey of self-care

“After sharing my own journey of battling mental illness, substance abuse, and eating disorders stemming from trauma, I was astounded at the number of audiences that responded with “Iʼve been there too.” It took trial and error and many years to craft the self-care practices I use today. And now I want to share those discoveries with YOU.” -Britt, Trauma Informed Coach and Founder of the Healing Hub

When you're ready for the next step, click this link for our FREE Healing Hub Self-Care Workbook when you subscribe to our newsletter.